There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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