Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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