need another drink. this is the easiest way
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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