I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
