What did we do last night that was yellow?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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