I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
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I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
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I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
my poor anus
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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