ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
