i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
