so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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