i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
