I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
