I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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