"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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