worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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