So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
