Me. At least after what I've been through.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
