That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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