I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
