Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
