I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
