She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
