I CAN MOONWALK!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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