dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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