My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize