I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize