Dual....:-)
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I smell stomach acid.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
