The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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