im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
