Dual....:-)
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
