I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
how drunk are you?
Several
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
