I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
