Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
