Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
