somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
