I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
