We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
