whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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