I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
