i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
cat food counts as protein by the way
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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