So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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