I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
