i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
