The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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