Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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