yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
