Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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