"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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