white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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