We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
