we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
