Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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