He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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