I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
