drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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