You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
