It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize