The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize