If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
