dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He shit in the fireplace
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
