spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
