I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
