so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
