Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
