i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
